Colton Harris-Moore is not my hero.

So they finally caught the elusive "Barefoot Bandit".

I must say that I'm more than just a little impressed with this kid, being able to evade the authorities for so long, survive on his own in the wild, steal cars, boats, and even planes (which he taught himself to fly), and make it all the way from Camano Island to the Bahamas before finally being captured. I'm impressed because I didn't have that kind of ambition when I was 16. I was far more interested in smoking pot and trying to get laid than in leading cops on a cross-country manhunt. I certainly didn't have the balls to try and teach myself to fly a plane, let alone steal one. I think the biggest thing I stole when I was a teenager was a couple of CDs from Camelot Music.

As impressed as I am by his ambition and ability, I'm also saddened (I was going to say stunned, but really I'm not) by the outpouring of support for Colton Harris-Moore. He is no hero. This boy is simply a spoiled rich boy that mommy didn't show enough attention to. In no way does that give him the right to violate peoples' homes and steal (and ultimately destroy) their property.

Many people have stated that we've had outlaws as heroes for generations, and that's true. One of the oldest I can think of off the top of my head is Robin Hood, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor, so the legend goes. But would we hold Robin Hood in such high regard if he just stole from the rich and had a good time? That's just what Harris-Moore did, he had no altruistic intentions and no desire to help anyone but himself. And I just can't see calling someone a hero that only looks out for themselves. But then, people have made 'heroes' out of the bank robbers of the depression era, saying that they were robbing the corporations and not the individuals. The point remains, however, that their actions served themselves and no one else.

So is this the point that we've reached as society, that we can no longer find someone that is doing great things and we have to turn to those that excel at crime for our moral support? Colton Harris is far and away not the only deviant that we look to for leadership. Our elected officials have been doing the same thing for decades, only on a much grander scale.

Take, for instance, tobacco legislation. Tobacco kills more people in this country every year than homicide, suicide, vehicle accidents, alcohol, and all illicit drug use (both direct and indirect) COMBINED. Yet, our politicians continue to line their pockets with monetary gifts from the tobacco industry and deny the fact that it is the deadliest drug in the nation. In fact, they pursue an unwinnable war against marijuana, a plant that has time and again been proven in medical studies to have no dangers to users. But I digress; this is not a piece about marijuana legalization, but about our decline as a society.

Our religious leaders are just as corrupt. Day after day we hear of pastors and priests that commit both unspeakable crimes and crimes that they simply decry themselves. Religious zealots as a whole are hypocrites, liars, and thieves that are out only to garner funds for their churches and to deceive the weak minded. You see, if they can convince you that you will spend an eternity in bliss if you only endure the suffering in this life, and, oh yeah, buy your ticket with ten percent of your lifetime earnings, then they can control you. But again, I digress.

What I'm trying to say is that we've reached a point now that we either have to abandon these 'heroes' that are in fact common thieves and move forward as a society. Far be it from me to speak of morality, but until we as a race (the human race) leave behind the mentality that we have to 'get one over' on someone to be successful, we will never advance. There is a place, people, that we can reach. A point that is higher than this "civilization" that we have now. It's not through religion, it's not through laws and legislation, and it's not through worshiping those that break the most common laws of decency.

It's through unification.

End of rant.

Me and Johnny, V 1.0

This is a new song I've been working on. Be gentle in your criticisms, but do please criticize. I call it "Me and Johnny". Here's what I have so far:

Me and Johnny Walker stayed up talking late last night,

And we talked about the future, how it looks so bright.

I said I've never been one to put up much of a fight..

He reassured me, told me everything was gonna be alright.

And it was a Johnny Walker morning when I woke up today.

I just laid around and hung out until the middle of the day.

He told me everyone may leave but he's always here to stay,

And it doesn't matter much, cuz I've got no one anyways.

Yeah, me and Johnny Walker are the best of friends.

I know he'll be there right up to the bitter end.

Me and Johnny Walker walk up and down the streets.

We just smile at all the happy people that we meet.

They don't understand that it's sadness that makes life so sweet,

And you can't learn to love freedom while you still got shoes on your feet.

And Johnny Walker's right there with me on a bleary, rainy day.

I stare out my motel window and look out across the bay.

If you've never known love, then how can you know my pain?

I wish I could leave so badly, but I know that I'll just remain.

Yeah Me and Johnny Walker are the best of friends.

He swears that he'll be with me until the bitter end.

It seems like I'm always trying hard to outrun the sun.

I know I will never be satisfied until the day is done.

Yeah, I live for the night, when it's time to run,

But I can't go very far while I'm trapped under your thumb.

So I force a hard earned smile and decide to begin anew,

And sparkling diamonds on the sea make me think of you.

And Johnny tells me to get in my truck and drive straight through,

And I listen, and I do it, and by tonight I'll be home with you.

They've Got Character: Ten Actors Whose Names You Don't Know, But Should.

"Who's that guy? I know I've seen him before, but I don't know what he was in." "Oh, he's that guy that was in that movie." "What's his name?"

How many times have you said these words or something similar? It seems that every good movie or TV show has a person in it that you never remember until you see him in that moment, then you remember, "Oh yeah, he was on an episode of Knight Rider, the one where KITT was melted with acid".

Who are these unsung heroes that help our other (bigger just isn't the right word) stars shine so

well? They are members of a select guild: the character actors. Seldom do they receive praise.

Even more seldom does anyone remember their name. Here's a short list of "That Guy"s and some of their achievements that will hopefully help them stick out a little more in your mind.

1. Dan Hedaya

You've loved him, you've hated him. He's played cops, criminals, scumbags, a space captain, and even the president in the film "Nixon" (maybe those are the same thing). But he is probably best known for his role as Nick Tortelli, Carla's sleaze-bag ex-husband on "Cheers". Maybe everyone knows your name there, Dan, but most don't know it in the real world.

2. Will Patton

He's been in numerous TV shows, including "C.S.I.", "24", "Numb3rs", and "The Agency" (seems he has a penchant for playing someone in law enforcement) and movies out the wazoo, such as "Gone In 60 Seconds", "Silkwood", "The Fourth Kind", and "Armageddon". Most Recently, you'll probably recognize him from "Brooklyn's Finest", starring opposite Don Cheadle.

3. Giovanni Ribisi

The brother-in-law of singer, Beck, his early work included roles on TV's "The Wonder Years" and "Highway To Heaven", as well as appearing on the family game show "I'm Telling". He (and the rest of the cast) won a SAG award for his part in "Saving Private Ryan", which also landed him on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine.

4. Curtis Armstrong

Most people will always remember Curtis Armstrong for his role as 'Booger', the lovable slob in "Revenge Of The Nerds" and the subsequent sequels. He also played alongside John Cusack in "Better Off Dead" way back in 1985. He's had numerous V.O. roles, including a steady role (33 episodes worth until he was replaced) on Fox's "American Dad" as 'Snot' (a mucous trend?), Steve Smith's friend.

5. Saul Rubinek

Saul has had numerous bit parts, TV appearances, and roles in independent films. Most notably, perhaps, are his roles in "True Romance" and "Jerry and Tom", the latter scoring him the coveted Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival. Currently he plays Artie Nelson on "Warehouse 13". He was born in a refugee camp in Germany, shortly after the end of WWII.

6. Matt Frewer

What '80s child can forget Max Headroom? Frewer has landed role after role since then, and in my opinion none were greater than his roles in the SyFy Channel's miniseries "Taken" (Dr. Chet Wakeman) and "Alice" (The White Knight). He even played a man bitten by a zombie in the 2004 remake of "Dawn of the Dead". He's also done a lot of V.O. work for the Disney channel, mainly as 'Panic' in the "Hercules" franchise.

7. Danny Trejo

Who do you cast when you need a tough, tattooed, Mexican, criminal? Danny Trejo, that's who. Contrary to his appearance, Trejo is actually a very nice guy. It wasn't always that way, though. He's done time in several maximum security prisons and is a recovering cocaine addict. That all changed when he landed a role in 1985's "Runaway Train", and the rest is B-film history.

8. Mickey Jones

"That would be me," his famous catch phrase from his appearances on "Home Improvement", is etched in my mind every time I see Mickey Jones. However, most people don't know that this player once played a very different role. He was the drummer for Bob Dylan during the controversial 1966 tour that angered so many of Dylan's fans, especially in England, where they were met with boos and cries to get off the stage.

9. Vincent Schiavelli

Most people would remember Vincent as The Subway Ghost in "Ghost", and how badly he wanted 'just one drag' from a cigarette. In addition to playing many roles, he also authored three cookbooks and myriad of newspaper and magazine articles. Sadly, he succumbed to lung cancer at the early age of 57. He owed his looks to another disease, Marfan Syndrome, the same disorder that also plagued musician Joey Ramone.

10. Mike Starr

Often typecast as a mobster or detective, Starr has had 164 roles to date since his first screen credit on Hawaii Five-O in 1978. He had a small role in "Goodfellas" as the airport security guard that aided Deniro and the boys in their multi-million dollar Lufthansa heist. He's also played on TV shows such as "Law and Order: Criminal Intent", "Newsradio", and "Ed", as well as the role of the thrwarted hitman in "Dumb and Dumber".

By no means is this list meant to be considered a compendium of character actors or even a 'best of' list. Simply, it is meant to inspire you, the reader, to find out who the hell "that guy" is when you see him and appreciate the work that the supporting actor lends to the screen. I know there's some of you that are saying: "What about all the unsung actresses? What are you, some kind of cinema chauvinist?" Not at all. I appreciate all the hard work that the female of the character actor species has contributed as well. But that is a tale for another time.